


The Edge of Darkness

by Ghostwriter (Zoya_Zalan)



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Challenge Response, Drama, F/M, Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-02
Updated: 2015-05-02
Packaged: 2018-03-26 17:20:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3858646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zoya_Zalan/pseuds/Ghostwriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Illness invades the peaceful life Chakotay and Kathryn Janeway have made for themselves on New Earth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Edge of Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer** : Paramount owns all things Voyager. I'm just borrowing. No copyright infringement is intended.
> 
> **Author's Note** : This story takes place in a timeline where _Voyager_ did not come back to New Earth, and is the result of a challenge: Write a story containing a boat (cannot be a _Coda_ episode addition) and it must contain at least one dark element. I also gratefully acknowledge Gill Hoyle for Lady Kathryn's inspiration.
> 
> Written January 1998.

~ * ~ * ~

The steady, rhythmic sounds of oars dipping into water were all that registered in Janeway's mind. Her body moved mechanically, lifting the oars, swinging them back, placing them in the water again and then pulling. Her whole body ached from the strain, but she ignored the pain. Exhaustion had set in hours ago, yet she instinctively kept the rhythm going: lifting, swinging, pulling. Her eyes stung miserably, tear ducts wrung dry long ago. All around her, the peaceful sounds of New Earth went unnoticed.

Chakotay had finished building this boat months ago. From start to finish, it had taken him two weeks. Janeway had watched the entire process very intently, making it seem as though she were very interested in the craftsmanship, the design, in the art as a whole. In truth, her scientific curiosity had been greatly overshadowed by something much deeper. Instead of admiring Chakotay's technical skills, she'd found herself admiring the way he used his hands to construct such a masterpiece, the way each piece of wood had been laid with such precision, then carefully, almost lovingly sculpted and smoothed... caressed as by the hand of a lover until the fruit of his labor sat finished before them.

They had celebrated with a picnic lunch, right there next to the boat, amid all the wood shavings and tools not yet put away. It was a moment Janeway wouldn't forget, the happiness and pride, the promise of adventure, the feeling that they truly were _home_ — something she had thoroughly denied until then. He'd begun to paint the boat then, a dark brown color that matched the trunks of the most ancient trees in the forest surrounding their shelter... no, their home. By nightfall, the boat had sat drying in the warm, gentle breeze under Chakotay's watchful eye.

"Going to stand guard over it all night?" she'd asked him playfully as darkness fell.

"Her," he'd corrected softly, reverence in his voice.

"Her," she’d whispered back.

"Just a bit longer. I want to make sure George doesn't get any bright ideas."

Janeway had laughed then, her deep chuckle carried by the breeze. Their new primate friend, aptly named Curious George, had become quite interested in his new neighbors, getting into all sorts of trouble in the process. He was a constant source of amusement for them, and his presence in their lives was oddly comforting.

"I'm going to read for awhile and then head for bed. Have a good sleep, Chakotay." She'd let her hand rest on his shoulder as she spoke, slipping it off slowly as she turned to go back to their home.

"Good night, Lady Kathryn." She'd heard him murmur through the dark, setting a smile on her face until long after sleep had taken over. The next morning, she'd awakened to find those same words painted in beautiful scrolled letters across the back of the boat.

"Lady Kathryn," she'd whispered, reading them, tears gathering in her eyes. He'd honored her so deeply with those two words, far more than he could possibly know.

Their meaning didn't escape her even now, as she struggled to keep her body moving, to keep the despair at bay. Lift, swing, pull... lift, swing, pull. Darkness would be falling soon, but Janeway kept going. In the bottom of the boat, nestled underneath several blankets, lay Chakotay's unmoving form. She stopped rowing to make certain that he still breathed, to see if she could sprinkle some water down his throat. Her efforts were in vain. His body, ravaged by an unmerciful disease, didn't allow for him to acknowledge her actions or help in any way. His breathing was shallow, and the painful lesions that had erupted all over him were opening further and spreading.

As she watched him, a distinct sensation invaded in her sinus cavity, the kind that normally signaled tears welling up, but there were no tears left to fall. Her eyes remained dry and red, sore from hours of crying and physical exertion far past what her body could endure. With renewed determination, she slowly crawled back to her spot at the oars and, with absolutely no strength left in her tiny frame, began the excruciating process of propelling her namesake forward once again. Lift... swing... pull...

They had discovered the disease less than a month ago, with Janeway falling victim first. Neither of them suspected what the abscess was on her arm, only that she must have gotten an infection from somewhere, a scratch perhaps. Within hours, the abscess had ruptured, leaving behind a painful, gaping lesion. Chakotay had helped her clean the sore, placing some soothing ointment that he'd gotten from the root of a plant on the infected area. The next morning, the lesion had healed almost completely. More outbreaks followed on both of them, each time healed by the remarkable properties of the ointment that came from a plant Chakotay had called _Tarka_ after a word from his language meaning 'feathery.' Janeway had never actually seen the plant herself. Chakotay had gathered the roots on the last extended trip he'd taken. The plant in question was nowhere to be found in their area, instead favoring a cooler clime more than two days journey to the north.

After the first outbreak had repeated itself on both of them, Janeway had gone to work on a way to counteract the infection before it started instead of just healing the end result. Her research had showed that an antibody against it could be created using a form of the ointment that would be taken orally. She’d also discovered that the properties of the root could not be replicated, leaving them at the mercy of their precious supply. Chakotay had made plans for another trip north to gather more when something unexpected happened. Curious George had decided to become even more curious than usual one day, wandering into their home and playing with all sorts of things that shouldn't be played with, including the container that held the _Tarka_ root extract.

Janeway and Chakotay had returned to find their only supply spilled on the floor, already half dried and mixed with a multitude of other spilled liquids. The timing could not have been worse. Chakotay's right arm had already had two abscesses that looked ready to burst. More followed until his entire body was nearly covered with them. The pain had been unbearable for him as she’d helped him to the boat not twenty-four hours later, both of them desperate to find more of the plant somewhere up river. So far, she had been spared an outbreak of her own, but she knew it wouldn't be far off. Time was crucial to the search, as she would be as incapacitated as he when her body finally succumbed.

Rain began to fall as dusk approached. Janeway acknowledged it dimly, eyes still focused straight ahead. Within twenty minutes, the rain had turned ugly, strong winds howling around them, whipping their boat, Lady Kathryn, closer to shore. Janeway could no longer maneuver the boat; she hadn't the strength to fight against such a formidable opponent. Instead, she resigned herself to protecting Chakotay from the elements as best she could, using her own body as a shield, and hoping against all odds that the small boat wouldn't capsize. They were both too weak to swim.

The storm raged on, thunder adding its voice to the cacophony. She held Chakotay tightly, rocking him gently, softly singing songs from her childhood to his unconscious form. Her voice was rough, sore and dry just like her eyes, but she kept singing, desperate to escape from the horrors of their reality. Holding him close, she realized he was burning up with fever. Her voice rose slightly, the words of the songs coming out as sobs and wails. A sharp pain on her shoulder caused her to stop. She reached up and pulled back the top of her tunic. Underneath, a large abscess had just ruptured, puss mixing with the rain water as it slowly slid down her chest. The light was fading rapidly, making any further exploration of her body difficult, but she doubted that was the only one. A strong gust of wind suddenly slammed into the side of the boat, sending it spinning wildly. Janeway leaned close to Chakotay's ear, hugging him desperately.

"Chakotay!" she cried, her voice filled with anguish. "Chakotay, please hear me! I'm sorry I never told you how much I love you..." Her voice trailed off as a series of uncontrollable sobs escaped her throat, causing her body to convulse. "Please forgive me, Chakotay!"

The storm around them raged out of control. Lady Kathryn heaved violently, throwing her two occupants over the side right into the shallow, muddy waters of the shoreline. The boat itself lay overturned and snagged on a fallen tree trunk.

Janeway hit the water hard, the bulk of Chakotay's body falling ÿ directly on top of her. His dead weight combined with the fact that she accidentally swallowed some of the muddy water left her choking and struggling to get both of them upright. In her weakened condition, that was next to impossible. The minutes that followed were a blur for her. Somehow she managed to get them both out of the water and onto solid ground, dragging him with every ounce of reserve she had left. When she finally collapsed, limbs shaking from over-exertion, mind reeling on the brink of unconsciousness, her last coherent thought was that of the gentle, feather-light touch of a leaf against her cheek...

~ * ~ * ~

Chakotay was slow to awaken. His entire body ached, and his head pounded with the start of a strong headache. He had trouble opening his eyes. It was as if his eyelids were sealed shut. He felt very cold, and there was something laying heavily on the top part of his body. He tried to move. No luck there. He decided to stay as he was, breathing deeply, until his body decided it was time to respond. He heard a groan, then felt movement. Whatever was resting on top of him was now moving slowly. Another groan, louder this time. He felt arms moving on his chest, heard a sharp intake of breath.

"Chakotay?" He recognized that voice, ragged and gravelly as it was. Kathryn! Sheer will alone forced his eyes to open. She was staring at him intently, eyes red, face swollen and muddy. As soon as his eyes met hers, a small smile formed on her mouth, bringing with it a trail of tears down her face. "Chakotay!" she sobbed, gathering him into a hug. His arms felt like lead, but he managed to reach up and return the embrace. As his arms made contact with her, he realized she wasn't wearing clothing of any kind on the upper half of her body. He lifted his head slightly, only to find that both of them were completely nude.

After a moment, he managed to find his own voice. "I'm sorry, Kathryn," he said quietly, with just a touch of humor, "but I can't remember if we had a good time."

Her laughter rang out and echoed off the walls of the cave they lay in. She lifted herself up to look down at him again, a huge smile creeping across her face. He couldn't help himself; he stared at her uncovered body with unabashed admiration. She was beautiful, and she was making no moves to hide herself from his gaze. On closer examination, he caught the signs of healing sores on her shoulders and torso. The memory of what had happened to him suddenly slammed home. He looked back at his own body, seeing the same healing sores on his own flesh. "Kathryn?"

"It's okay, Chakotay," she whispered, wiping something off the side of his face as she spoke, "I found some _Tarka_ roots... just in time." His entire body had been one seeping lesion, which explained why she'd had to undress him to apply the ointment. Apparently the same thing had happened to her, as well. He closed his eyes, fighting back a wave of emotion by taking a deep breath.

"Kathryn, I..." he began.

"I love you, Chakotay."

Her words spilled forth so quickly, he thought perhaps he'd imagined them. He opened his eyes again. She still sat there, smiling. "I love you," she said again, letting him watch her lips move. His mouth opened, as if to speak, but she stopped him by placing her finger across his lips. More tears gathered in her eyes. "I..." she whispered affectionately, the depth of her emotion quieting the sound of her voice, "...love you..." she continued, placing her hand against his chest right above his heart, "...very, very much."

He wrapped his arms around her again, pulling her tightly against him as she broke down, releasing tension that had been pent up for years. He let her cry, stroking her hair, completely unable to speak himself. It was some time later when she finally spoke again. "We should get dressed and find something to eat."

He smiled against her hair. Getting dressed would be an interesting experience, given how weak both of them were. The effort of trying to sit up left them both exhausted.

"Why don't _I_ get dressed and find something for us to eat?" she said after seeing his pained expression.

He smiled grimly. "I don't think I'll argue with you."

"You'll have the rest of our lives to do that," she smiled, standing up in front of him. He was once again struck by her complete nudity. She stood there, weakly, letting him drink in her appearance without shame.

"Our lives?" he hesitated, looking up into her eyes.

"Our lives," she affirmed softly, turning to retrieve her clothing.

Chakotay felt his strength begin to return as he watched her, a wave of uninhibited thoughts warming him both inside and out. They’d been through so much together here on New Earth, but all the emotional turmoil and drama and pain had definitely been worth enduring, if only to hear those two beautiful words filled with such hope spoken by the woman he adored.

_Let the journey begin..._

~ * ~ finis ~ * ~

**Author's Note:**

> Rereading this for the first time in, oh, 17 years, I realize how easy it would have been to continue with this story and make it into an epic romance of some sort. Alas, it wasn't meant to be. I was too pissed that Janeway had defined parameters instead of taking the opportunity to have a real life. Sadly, it will have to stand as my one feeble attempt at a New Earth story.


End file.
